Loose Lips Sink Ships

--a guy with kids means hes responsible and reliable
--a woman with kids is...
--ya know...
--stretchy

Bad Advice

--i still wanna nail this intern thats here too
--but i don't have an in
--so get in
--wtf!
--dude, it my job, not a bar
--I can't just walk up and start talking to her
--there's no music, she'd actually hear how dumb i am
--haha good point
--rufey time
--is rape still legal in new york?

New Rule

--so midget took a swing at me last night
--what???
--i'm not sure if he was a real midget, probably just some little prick with a napolean complex
--did you deck him?
--man how's it gonna look if I punched a midget
--theres already too much man-on-midget crime in this world
--so why'd he take a swing at you
--he thought i was hitting on his girlfriend
--did you?
--did i what?
--hit on his girlfriend asshole
--well yeah, probably
--but i def didn't see the little bastard standing there
--but still even if I did, if you're not tall enough to ride the tea cups, then your girl is fair game

They Revoked My Carry Permit

--like...i feel like u shouldnt be allowed to own a penis